The Exceeding Greatness of the Power of God in the Soul of Sarah Wight - 2
From Saturday, March 27, 1647, to the 19th of May following, fifty-three days in succession, she partook of no sustenance whatever, with the exception of three or four cups of water at a time, and once a little broth, which she cast up immediately, and yet she looked better than she did seven or eight weeks before. She now craved a little water, saying, "Christ hath given you freely; when he turned water into wine, he turned not cups or glasses full, but whole firkins full." She then drank three or four cups full of water, after which she said, "As I live, saith the Lord, I will not the death of a sinner. He hath sworn that he delights not in the death of a sinner. He hath said, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.' What am I but a poor, wretched, empty, disconsolate, sinful, vain, contemptible worm, fit only to tread upon: yet hath Jesus Christ loved me. But that which I admire most is that He should die for such a one." Having kept her bed ever since the 6th of April, she had become very sore and weary, and, turning herself in bed, she said, "Now I have my desire; I desired nothing but a crucified, and I have a crucified Christ. I am sore all over, and can neither hear nor see. I desired Him so, and I have Him so, and nothing else. We should be as willing to bear the cross of Christ as to wear his crown, for he was made perfect by suffering, and yet he had no sin; it was for us be suffered, and therefore we should be content to bear the cross. Ah! had I known this, I should not have been in so sad a condition as I was; but God's time is the best time to reveal himself, and to open my eyes to see and my ears to hear; and he gives me power to wait. Was I afraid to name the devil? Why, it was nothing but free grace that made the difference between me and the devil. All is free! mercy free, goodness free, and love free. When the Lord proclaimed his name, he called himself merciful, gracious, and long- suffering. God has two thrones; one is in the highest heavens, and the other is in the lowest hearts, and he dwells as truly in the lowest hearts as in the highest heavens. When Solomon had built his temple, he said, 'The heaven of heavens cannot contain thee, how much less this house that I have built?' But God builds himself a house to dwell in, and he dwells in it for ever. Happy is that people whose God is the Lord, whose joy is their strength.'
In the morning of April 15th she said, "Daniel in the lions' den—the three children in the fiery furnace - God delivered them, and so he doth me." Having drunk some water, she said, "Have I not a mother? Pray entreat her to pardon my murmurings against her, for nothing else troubles me. God hath pardoned me. And hath the Creator pardoned, and shall not the creature?" Then, weeping much, she continued, "When the prodigal returned, his earthly father pardoned him and his heavenly Father pardoned him; and will not my mother pardon me? If they who murmur against God and against an earthly parent felt for it what I have felt, they would never do it. Nothing lies heavier upon my mind than my murmurings and disobedience towards my mother." She then desired that her mother would come and testify that she had pardoned her, though at this time she could neither see nor hear. Her mother came, and took her hand, and put it upon her neck, whereon she had a scarf. The daughter, knowing her, cast her head into her mother's bosom, and, weeping, kissed her and stroked her face, saying, "I know you, mother; and I love you with another love, which differs from that with which I loved you before." She then asked to have her eyes washed, and prayed that she might see her mother, and hear her tell her that she had pardoned her disobedience. This was done. She opened her eyes, and saw her mother; and immediately her ears were opened also, and she heard her mother testifying that she had pardoned her and loved her as her own soul; whereupon, her heart was at rest, and she was well satisfied. After half an hour, her hearing was again taken from her, and her eyes were closed. Some time after, she remarked, "Jesus said, 'The cup which my heavenly Father gives me to drink, shall I not drink it?' He drank the dregs; and shall the saints think it too much to sip of the cup? The yoke of Christ is easy, and his burden is light; but the yoke of sin is heavy, and wrath is heavy. The yoke of Christ is easy, because he helps them to bear it. The saints would have no sufferings, if it were not for their good. Christ comes leaping over the mountains, and skipping over the hills. There is nothing in the soul but mountains of sin and hills of corruption. Christ conies, not walking, nor running, but leaping and skipping to a poor bewildered soul; not to a garden ready trimmed, but he trims it himself, to abide in it for ever. <If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us.' He will give water of life to them that thirst; not water only, but water of life. He hides himself that we may seek the more diligently after him, and that he may reveal himself more fully. I that was an enemy of God am an heir with Christ, to live in glory for ever and ever. Christ is my brother, my elder brother. How sweet are the teachings of the Spirit to my soul! sweeter than the teachings of men or angels, which speak much to the ear, (and that is well,) but cannot say to my soul, 'Thy sins are pardoned, and Christ loves thee. "
On April 17th, having drunk some water, she said, "We love Christ because he loved us first; we rejoice in him because he rejoiced in us first; and we desire him because he desired us first. I once could not believe that I should be saved; but now, if men or devils stood before me, and should tell me that I should not be saved, I would not believe them. I see Him that is invisible;' and I look on Him whom I have pierced, and mourn over him. Do you not see him? If' you saw him as I see him, you would admire him. A sight of him would satisfy all nations." Being importuned to take some food, she said, "I cannot. I have what I did desire; I have a crucified Christ; I am filled with heavenly manna. I am sore from the crown of the head to the sole of the foot; but, let the Lord do what he will with me; let him take me to his eternal rest, I am content; or, if he continue me in this vale of misery, I am content. Thou, Lord, art a free agent; thou workest when thou wilt and where thou wilt. Let the Lord do with me what he will, I am content; if he threw me into hell, I should be content, because I have deserved it. But his mercy will save me in the day of wrath. God hath not forgotten to be gracious and merciful, though I have often said that he had.'
On the 19th of April, after drinking some lime water, she
said, "God is a refuge and a shield from the storms and the tempests.
He hath avenged me on mine adversary the devil, who thought to be avenged
on me; and I thought the same; but the Lord hath avenged me on him. Shall
the unrighteous judge do justly in avenging the widow, and shall not the
Righteous Judge do justly? Yea, a thousand times more. Happy are the people
that have the the God of Jacob for their excellency, and whose strength
is in the Lord. Behold, the Lord will come with a strong hand. He shall
feed the flock; he shall carry the lambs in his arms. Thou, Lord, art worth
the waiting for; if one should wait from the day of one's birth till
the day of one's death, even one glimpse of thee is worth all this waiting.
Let him that walks in darkness, and sees no light, trust in the name of
the Lord, and stay himself upon his God." She had not eaten anything
during the last twenty-four days, nor drunk anything but a little water.
Food being offered to her, she remarked, "Do you think that I do not
eat? How do you think I live? No eye of man sees my food; but God sees it.
None could taste the sweetness of the manna by looking on it, but by eating
it. The redeemed of the Lord are a royal priesthood and a chosen generation.
He hath made us kings and priests unto God,' more precious than gold,
than the gold of Ophir. The Lord hath avenged me of mine enemy, that roared
over me, night and day, to devour me. They, Lord, that know thy name, will
trust in thee, because thou never failest them that seek thee. Before I
called, the Lord answered; and while I was asking, he heard, and delivered
me from all my fears." A while after, several persons who much wished
to hear her speak, came into the room. Her ears were opened; and she lay
with a linen cloth over her eyes, which were very weak. She said, "O
magnify the Lord with me; for he hath delivered me from all my fears; not
from one, but from all! He hath regarded the low estate of his handmaid.
I rejoice in him. I mourn over Him whom I have pierced. It was not Judas,
nor the soldiers, so much as I, that pierced Um. I thought that I was the
bad thief; but he hath said to me, Thou shalt be with me in Paradise.'
The earthly Paradise was a type of the heavenly Paradise. That was fading
and lost; but this endures for ever. O praise the Lord with me! for he hath
heard me and looked upon me, the vilest, the worst, and the chiefest of
sinners; one that was rebellious, disobedient, unthankful, and unholy; a
murmurer as much as were the Israelites in the wilderness." Here she
wept abundantly, and then continued, "And their murmuring kept them
out of Canaan. But though I have murmured, he hath saved me. I was at the
pit's very brink, at the very brink of hell, and the Lord brought me
from it; and is not he worthy of praise? Neither men nor angels could open
these brazen gates, this iron door, this hard heart of mine; none but he
could do it. When I confessed my sins, he forgave me the punishment. I could
never confess my sins till he had made known his mercy to me, though I sought
diligently to do it. Nothing but the feeling sense of his mercy could ever
bring me to confess my sins with meltings. I would fain have got comfort
from mine own workings, or from a creature. I spake to men; but I could
never get comfort till the Lord himself brought it. I could not love him
till he made known his love to me, the chiefest of sinners. If all the sins
of the world were in one, I thought that it would be nothing to mine. I
could not find any, in all the Scriptures, who Obtained mercy in such a
case as mine; yet he hath shown mercy to me. If all the world had told me,
a short time ago, that Christ died for me, and that my sins were pardoned,
I could not have credited it; but now, if all men, angels, and devils, should
tell me that my sins are not forgiven, I would not believe them. What pains
did I take in going to men, to hear them speak comfort to me, and they could
not do it; but Christ did it in a moment. They that know his name will trust
in him; they cannot but trust in him. If the world knew him, they could
not but love him. He is the chiefest of ten thousand; he is more to be desired
in his lowest estate than millions of worlds. Behold, O daughter of Jerusalem!
thy King comes meekly, that he might teach his people meekness. He came
on an ass's colt, not on a horse finely trimmed, to an unlearned heifer
unaccustomed to the yoke; to me, who was ungodly and unprepared, a wild
ass's colt. Surely after I was turned I repented. I could not turn to
him, nor love him, till he showed love to me, and turned me. Praise the
Lord with me, that hath shown mercy to one who was in so desperate a case
as I was in. I could see nothing before me but curses, hell, and wrath,
night and day. O that others may hear what God hath done for such a one!
I wish that none may despair of the mercy of God, who hath done so much
for me." A person having given her a nosegay, she looked on it, and,
smelling it, said, The flowers are all fragrant, but some are more fragrant
than others; they have different colours and different smells, and yet all
come out of the earth: so are the saints all in Christ; and in him they
are all sweet and savoury, but are of different strength and judgments.
The strong should bear with the weak, and not despise them."